week 20

dear little bean,

today (well, yesterday) we are halfway there until we get to meet you! the normal gestational period is 40 weeks for us humans. typically, first babies go 41.5 weeks. please, little bean, feel free to come anytime after 38 weeks. we’re anxious for your arrival.

you’re a lot more noticeable now, making my belly pronounced and round — something that papa thinks is sexy and the people at work ooh and aah over. i’m loving it and for whatever reason, carrying you makes me feel more feminine. some people say this means you’re a girl–because you’re making me more in touch w my feminine side. but i think it’s probably bc, no matter what gender you are, you are fulfilling my purpose as a woman. i don’t mean this in some weird, women-to-the-hearth, baby-factory way. i just mean that, simply, you’re helping me carry out a process that is primal, biological and inherent to being a female. and i think that’s pretty cool. (when you’re older i hope you read the red tent. it puts this all, what i’m going through, into a very beautiful and sacred light).

people do keep asking what you are: girl or boy. we’ve decided that we think it would be a pretty neat surprise to find out on your birthday so we don’t know!

so anyway, and more importantly, you’ve begun to dance. i felt you once, i think, about a week ago, while i was washing dishes. you seemed to rumble low in me as if to politely remind me you are in there. but that was it for a while. but yesterday, on the exact 20 week mark, i was laying in savasana in yoga class and you started grooving. you haven’t stopped since! your dances are light and kinda feel like little bubble pops in my lower tummy. papa tried feeling for them but for now, it’s just a dance for you and i. even as i sit here, you’ve been bumping up to say hello. hello, little bean!

i love you,

mama

p.s. nana (papa’s mama) took me shopping the other day for clothes that will fit my belly well with you inside. i think this also contributes to how fantastic and beautiful i feel.