from my morning journal, 5/28/2014 at 5:15 AM:

with two small children it seems near impossible to find time for rest and reflection. by the time ramona’s quiet time and harriet’s nap time roll around at noon (after an early morning wake-up call from the two of them) i can barely muster the desire to wash the growing pile of dishes in my sink. i settle into the couch or my “office” chair and zone out to TV shows or mindlessly return simple emails or putz with my ever growing “to-do” list, of which i get little done.

but it’s clear –many of us can sense it in our hearts– that time set aside for prayer and meditation does immense things to rejuvenate our hearts and minds, readying us for the daily work and tasks ahead.

to be continued. interrupted by waking children.

i love this entry in my journal. so apropos pos of my life these days.

i intend, every morning, to wake up early to either go for a run or set aside some meditation and sabbath time. to rest. to reflect. to gather myself. wake up slowly and alone. i’m inspired by the obvious evidence of how well i do on days i wake up early and spend some time in my thoughts and in prayer. and i’m further encouraged by books like the one i’m reading now (well, intermittently): sabbath: finding rest, renewal, and delight in our busy lives by wayne muller.

two little ones can really screw that up. they both wake up so so early, especially harriet these days (she’s got a morning poop that is seriously timed to the minute). so i’m learning to spend my sabbath with them instead of alone: lounging at home, picking grass, making up stories, playing dress up, folding laundry, drinking beer on the sofa (well, the girls drink some variation of milk), eating mindfully (whether that’s dinnertime or popsicle treats on the front steps). slowing down at home is the only way i have found to successfully make up for my current inability to carve out some morning solo quiet time.

and as i feel this time at home with them passing more and more quickly? i’ll gladly practice my sabbath with them, quietly praying and hoping that they take some of that and learn to carve out quiet moments in their own grown-up days.