my minka moo,

before i say anything i must say this: be yourself. this is the most important style advice anyone has ever told me and, i am confident, the most important style advice anyone will ever tell you.

you have probably noticed by now that your mother is not incredibly stylish. i mean, i know a few tricks and follow a few rules but i don’t believe the words fashionable or stylish or trendy have ever been used to describe me. and even though you will roll your eyes at me when you are in jr high bc you cannot believe your mom is not as cool as other moms (trust me, it happens to all of us jr highers) you must realize that i still have style. it’s something i’ve been working on through the years. it goes back and forth, spot on and missing the mark, changing course every few seasons, always with the goal of finding a style i feel most comfortable in. i’m not talking comfortable like socks with sandals (you’ll have to talk to your pops about that one) but comfortable as in the previous paragraph: what makes me feel most like myself and allows me to creatively and honestly convey this to those around me. my style is my wardrobe, surely, but it is also my reactions, my communications, my writing, my causes, my home, my community, my conversations, my actions, my relationships, my habits. it is what i choose to do with these and in these spaces that convey much about my style; lets us know much about others’ styles. and so, because i cannot tell you what shoes will be the best for next season or why one-shouldered tops are apparently acceptable again (i really have no clue about that one) i will share with you some of the “style” rules i find myself more or less following almost most of the time.

smile. but only when you mean it. but find lots of excuses to mean it.

do not read beauty magazines. they will only make you feel ugly (this is a quote from jewel that’s stuck w me).

you will worry a lot less what others think about you when you realize how little they do. pops (the man who will walk in public with sandals and socks) says this all the time and he got it from eleanor roosevelt.

get plenty of sleep and drink lots of water. but don’t forget to find some nights to stay up late and have fun with friends over many bottles of wine (in due time, of course).

buy good quality. buying something bc it is on sale or inexpensive is a false economy (read walden for more information on that). buy what fits, what flatters, what lasts. be picky about what you give a home in your closet.

change your hair color. cut your hair. it will always grow out or back if you don’t like it. also, find a good stylist whom you like and respect and stick with them. don’t be afraid to spend some moola on a hairstyle that makes you feel fabulous.

trends are trends. stick to the classics. or don’t. your mama’s style is pretty much jeans and a t-shirt. maybe some fun shoes and red lips. but if you wanna sport a mohawk or mismatched patterns or lots of glitter, go on with your bad self.

find your own personal outlet of expression. own it.

be kind to people. all people. expect others to be kind to you and others. speak up when injustices occur.

don’t be afraid to leave the house without makeup on. i mean, i usually regret it but it’s totally ok. if you’re in a pinch remember: mascara first. then lips. then cheeks. but remember that you’re beautiful without any of those.

wear sunscreen.

feel free to reinvent yourself — college or travels or moving to a new city are good for that. but do not lose yourself or mask yourself. this goes back to my first point: always be yourself.

i love you. love, mama.

read other letters to ramona bean over here, here, here, here, and here.

this post is done in collaboration with sakura bloom. the sling i am wearing is the essential silk in midnight & pebble. the beautiful photos are by grey paper photography and were taken on the rooftop of linger.