if you listen carefully you can hear what it sounds like when a baby farts.
every day, little bean, you do something new. you now notice and love the mobile hanging above your swing and you love the dangly toys from your playstand. you haven’t quite mastered grabbing things yet — the concept of opening your fingers to grasp something hasn’t yet occurred to you — but you try! and your little tiny fingers sometimes makes their way around the plastic links and little balls and multiple giraffe toys we put in front of you. every day you can do a little more than the day before.
you’ve decided that you need to go to bed sometime between the hours of 7:00 and 9:00. you start your battle cries for bedtime around 6:30 to let us know you are getting sleepy. we keep you up and happy for a little while longer to tucker you out even more until you let us know you really have had enough. then we put you in your sleep sack, move the pillows to the floor, pull back the covers, and plop you in the middle of the bed. i nurse you on my side while papa and i sing to you or talk quietly with each other. unlike last month, which took some time, you’ve usually found a deep sleep within five minutes. i lay with you a little while longer, resting my hand gently on your chest or holding your t-rex arms down so you don’t wake yourself w your falling-asleep flails. and then i creep away, removing otto’s collar so he can rest in bed with you without waking you up, and tiptoe out of the room. you sleep soundly until about 7:30 in the morning.
your smile has become bigger and more genuine. it fills your face! you love to smile as your sleepy head finds clarity in the morning and you beam when i sing you “itsy bitsy spider.” you love music, especially when i dance you around the living room as i introduce you to songs from papa’s record collection. vampire weekend, so far, is your favorite.
weekends and mornings are becoming extra special to me. during the week you and i hang out with max, a six month old. he’s a great baby and looking after him enables me to stay home with you. but it sure isn’t the same as when it was just you and i all the time.
when you were born–and up until recently–you were the spitting image of your father. but now i see some of me in your chubby little face and i’m certainly claiming those tremendous blue eyes. they’re bright and round and curious and alert. they dance they do. i love you. i love how you smell and how your squishy body feels. i love your squawks and coos and smiles just for me. we certainly make quite the pair. i look at you, all the million little details that make up you, and i love each and every single one. you are destined to be a great woman and i look forward to meeting that woman. but i’m holding on tightly now to your little size: how perfectly you fit on my back when i wear you, your head in the crook of my neck. how we are able to nuzzle and i can hold you effortlessly in the air. when you nurse, your small hands holding onto my breast, you tucked into my folded arms. it is just you and i in those moments–something you will understand when you are a mama. please don’t grow up too fast.
we weren’t sure what having a baby would do to the life we knew. it’s turned it upside down, that’s for certain. but we’re also trying to introduce you to the life we had pre-ramona and plan to continue having: good meals, happy hours, first fridays, neighborhood walks, porch time w friends, enjoying beautiful and well-made things and surrounding ourselves w kind, creative, and community-oriented people. we like how you fit into these times w us and we couldn’t imagine life without you.
i love you.
mama
***
marcie: let’s please book a girls weekend to toronto and do some shopping at mjolk.
andrea: i’m trying my best! sometimes i certainly don’t feel that way so thanks for the love. as you know: babywearing makes all the difference in the world 😉
life is good but hectic. i’m slowly getting the hang of caring for two babes 40 hours a week. it can be entertaining, hectic, frustrating, tiring, rewarding, boring, etc taking care of two infants only 2.5 months apart. i don’t know how mothers of twins do it. or single mothers. you have all my respect in the world if you are either of those sorts of mothers. by the time max is picked up at the end of the day, i’m ready to collapse. and i do, usually by 8:30, but not until after i’ve gobbled up whatever it is jp cooks me that night. either way, there’s little time for much else besides putting the house in order and making sure everything is ready so i can be prepared to do it all over again the next day.
here’s what a typical day looks like:
between 6:00 and 6:30 i wake up. jp is long gone by this time. ramona is fast asleep in the middle of the bed. i do my hair, get dressed, eat a bowl of cereal, tidy up the house, feed otto, let otto out in the front yard, glance out at the chickens in the backyard. basically, i try to get as much stuff done as humanly possible before the little bean wakes up.
7:00 if ramona is still sleeping i make some french press and and go through my google reader. i enjoy these last few minutes of me-time before i hear her start to smack her lips, sigh, stretch, and generally make cute waking-up noises in the bed. i go get her and we giggle and smile and cuddle until her really full diaper leaks on me (this happens most every morning). i get a fresh diaper on her and get her dressed.
around 7:30 i put happy ramona in the swing in the bedroom while i make the bed. two things HAVE to happen in the morning: my hair gets done and the bed gets made. otherwise, my whole day is off-kilter and the universe collapses.
between 7:50 and 8:00 max is dropped off. i scramble around to get the diaper bag all packed and the stroller all set to go. the three of us are off to happy first thing in the morning. always. i drink my cortado and we hang out with dustin (the best barista in denver), the other morning regulars (coffee hour club), and max’s dad who works right next door (so convenient!).
after that? there is no schedule. we go on a lot of walks. this is made possible by mama and papa power who so generously bought us the amazing, one-and-only bob duallie stroller. it’s really allowed me to go anywhere with these two (though ramona is usually strapped to my back bc she’s still not a big fan of carseat like things, thus my huge bag goes into her seat). last week we walked around and said hello to familiar faces at linger and root down. i think i clocked seven miles that day. today we met a friend at the wooden spoon bakery and then walked up to the library and then spent the rest of the day playing and crying and sleeping and fussing and cleaning dirty diapers. i’m getting used to their cues for hunger, dirty diapers, and tiredness. if we’re doing something and they’re both happy, i keep doing it until one of them freaks out. and then i go through the checklist of their needs and it doesn’t take me too long to get them settled down again. by which time though, of course, the second is freaking out and so i go through that baby’s checklist and settle that one down. and then we’re all happy again.
morning walk to happy
ramona and max passed out in the bob
ramona and i saying hi to maki and eric at root down
after a morning of long walks, the babes playing happily together
this is a rare instance for two reasons:
1) both asleep at the same time
2) ramona asleep and NOT wrapped on me
playdate w amy turned dual-meltdown
the odd day where i actually put both kids in the car to go see jp at crema
and–because i’m going to try and make this blog a little more than just anecdotes about my daughter–an example of my typical daily outfit: clarks desert boots, gap maternity jeans (quiet. i’m giving myself a year to fit into pre-pregnancy clothes), bcbg max azria sweater ($1 at a garage sale), nursing tank, american apparel t-shirt, thrifted scarf, didymos wrap, and baby ramona bean.
the last two weeks in a nutshell! and the first time i’ve thought “TGIF” in a while. TGIF. tomorrow ramona and i have plans for breakfast at crema, our monthly photoshoot, and getting my hair did. i love my time with just her. it’s so much easier!
(this post dedicated to stefanie: thanks for checking up on me and your beautiful words of encouragement.)
*** (here is where i copy aux petits oiseaux in her responses to commenters.)
melinda: definitely finding my rhythm…slowly but surely.
i want to visit this store.
i want to buy those bags. bad. each and every one of them.
a story that is making its rounds on the internet:
Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, very thin and tanned woman appeared in the window of a gym. It read:
“THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?”
A middle aged woman, with children all grown, and a life well-lived, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.
To Whom It May Concern:
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They are powerful and wise. They have a fabulous social life, stuffing themselves with shrimp as they frolic the sunset hours away. Whales play and swim in the seas, visiting amazing places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. They speak and sing to each other in a language no one else has been able to master. Whales are wonderful musicians and are featured on many recorded CDs. They have an active sex life – both for pleasure and procreation – and birth adorable whale babies. Whales are incredible creatures and have virtually no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.
Mermaids do not exist.
But if they did, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis: Fish or human? They would the kill men who came too close, have no sex organs, and be unable to bear young. Yes, they would be lovely, but potentially lonely.
The choice is perfectly clear to me – I want to be a whale.
We are in an age when media instills in us that the only beautiful people are the skinny people. That those who carry around an extra ten pounds are lazy, dumb and unattractive. Yet, I prefer to enjoy an ice cream now and then with my kids. I love a good dinner with a partner who makes me shiver, and a drink out with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom – our heads cannot hold anymore and it simply must be distributed to the rest of our bodies. See, I am not heavy… I am enormously cultured, educated, and happy. I am fit. I am strong. I am healthy. But I will never be skinny.
And beginning today, when I see my curves in the mirror I will tell myself, “My goodness! Look at how amazing I am!”
found via here.
welcome
